I recently had the privilege of traveling to Haiti on my very first mission trip. It’s been three weeks today since we got back and I still have yet to process all that God did in my heart and in my mind during that week. This will probably be one of many ramblings you will hear about the journey that impacted my life so profoundly. I hope that as time goes on I will be able to fully explain how amazing this week really was. I honestly don’t even know where to start which is probably why it’s taken me three weeks to even sit down and try to blog about it. This post may be brief and random but I have to start somewhere. I had prayed before I left that God would fill my heart with words to share about all I experienced, but so far the words have not come. I think of a little tid bit here and there usually at night when I lay down to sleep but every time I time I try to piece it all together my mind goes blank. And of course, I want it to sound perfect. Now I realize this is part of my struggle with writing and always has been which is why I don’t do it; however, I also know God has called me to share my life through writing and I have not been obedient in what He has asked of me.
“Lord, I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps” (Jeremiah 10:23)
This was the verse He gave me on my first night in Haiti. Coincidence?? I don’t think so.
I’m not sure why I expect God to show me “what’s next” when I haven’t even done what’s He telling me to do right now. I am always convinced that I can’t write or I shouldn’t write or that no one cares about what I write. Maybe that’s why on my second night in Haiti God reminded me of Romans 9:17:
For scripture says to Me: “I raised you up for this very purpose that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth”
I’m not sure why it is still so hard for me to believe that God wants to use me for His purposes. How amazing is it to be chosen by God and here I am in my stubbornness and perfectionism missing out on the blessings He has for me. Lord forgive me for my disobedience. Please give me the faith of Abraham.
(Romans 4:20) Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God.
Yup, you guessed it. This was the verse God gave me on day three in Haiti.
Funny, when I sat down tonight to write, this was not at all what I planned. I haven’t even gotten to the trip yet, but I guess God had other plans for this post, like to show me why He gave the verses He did. I needed to finally sit still and listen and be obedient. Once again I stand amazed at how God works, how patient He is with me, and how He blesses me so much more than I deserve.
Stay tuned until next time when I actually will share about the country and the people that stole my heart.